Lost Soul

It's been a while since I last wrote anything here, and wow so much as happened of late.
I have started back being a DJ for Megacast, I have fallen out with my mum in-law and another friend due to finally being able to stand up for myself and not take anyone else's bullshit or drama, life is indeed to short and my time is way to precious to be dragged into another's baggage, as I often call it.
So I have chose to walk away with my head held high, comfortable in my own skin, no second guessing myself or searching of approval. That in it's self is a huge leap forward in my life lessons, yes it's fair to say, I'm finally getting it. You don't have to give these individuals your energy or attention, we have the power to let it all go with love and move forward.
I am still struggle daily with my demons that vacate my mind from time to time, so I am also working on my self talk and mindfulness practice, which means I am learning to discipline my own mind and not be a servant to it anymore, seeing it for what it is and thanking it for helping me,even through it's programming is all wrong and outdated, I'm able to see that now and act in accordance. I understand now that it was only trying to protect me and it had been programmed to primal man which I guess it switch too when I experienced a trauma that at the time was too big for me to face, so I send love and light to it and say thank you.
I finally feel I am on the right track for healing myself of 25 years of being a prisoner of my mind and a recluse, the life lessons that once took me away from the world are finally being seen, healed and learnt.
By looking into, questioning and opening up my conscious mind I have the tools to see it clearly for what it is. It was just giving me lessons, it was never nothing personal, it was always about the ability for growth and evolving, helping me be then  best I can be, nothing more.
I have found a huge passion in talking about this awareness and sharing it with other liked minded people, in doing so it is not only helping myself break free, but causing a ripple effect and opening the door for other should they choose to enter and do the same.
This week we have talk about the responsibility and what that means for us as individuals, for me it means to be able to take responsibility for myself and my own actions and let the controlling of others go, as it really is none of my business how other's react or what they say at given moment in time, all I can do is take responsibility for the way I react to a situation. It's about being clear of ones own journey and giving the freedom to others the experience theirs without my input or attention, keeping the focus purely on me and my self management. So more and more these days I choose to breath, smile and wave, it's way better for my health and healing.
When someone does bring something up that hits a nerve with me now, instead of challenge them, I choose to look as why it has effected my very being, by looking at this way:
I believe people come into our reality as teachers for the most part and when they hit buttons that make us want to react in a negative way, one must step back, look into the reason why this has happened and question it. They in effect become the mirrors of our own reality it you will, showing us deep inside our own selves, giving us the tools to heal and be at peace. I'm not talking here just a little peace, I'm talking total peace of mind, a balance in which to see the whole truth and befriend it.

This week we have also touch on the subject of labels, words and names, what are they really? For me I guess they are just a way of making sense of things nothing more. Labels don't make us, but they do give us a way of communicating in layman terms with each other, in a way we can all understand, like putting us all on the same page if you will. Now,what are words, well really they are just nouns strung together to form a sentence, they have no meaning until we attach emotions to them, then they become powerful to us as individuals. We can choose to pick that sentence up and wear it like a badge or baggage or look deeper into it to see what this has struck in our inner being and work through it, to see the light at the end of what is really being spoken. Next time you get a chance listen to what is really being spoken, listen with the intent to hear not reply, for only then will you see clearly the answers that are in front of you. People often have asked me how will I know when I'm being true to self, well that's easier that you think to answer, we are all born with an emotional guidance system, that has been set in place to help us on our path of life. What that means is spiritually we are born in balance, mind, body and soul all working together, as we journey through life, through programming of others: Society, Peers, Teachers, Friends, Family and what is politically correct we start to live a lie, looking constantly to please or get others approval, So we loose sight of our true selves and can become unbalanced or at DIS-EASE and that's when the mind takes over trying hard, to get us back in tune if you will, and the thinking, thinking starts. I truly believe we are here to live a life of bliss, peace and joy, not suffer, suffering only occurs when we get out of sync from the body, mind and soul. The body only becomes Dis-Eased when we are no longer in balance, diseases manifest when we use our emotional guidance system wrongly, when will fill our minds with all the negative and destructive emotions, Like: envy, hate, bitterness, anger, jealously etc, when we fill ourselves with joy, happiness, love and such,  pain and disorder drop away, leaving a space for forgiveness and self peace and inner growth.

anyway thought I'd share my week with you so far, it's been truly inspirational and mind blowing. For me I have finally been able to see the trees again and venture through the woods without fear of loosing sight of them.

So until my next blog.
Be safe and may you find peace, love and forgiveness for yourself too xxx.